Today we often wonder, “Where is God?” “Is He really interested in my little needs?” We tell ourselves that He is, because of what we read in the Bible and the stories we hear in church. But what about when I have a need? What about when I’m worried and stressed? Where is He then? We begin to wonder, “is He really that interested in me?” Were all those stories in the past something He doesn’t still do today?
Maybe, miraculously providing for people is only for those who lived in the time of the Bible. Maybe all those stories of provision are for great missionaries like George Müller or Amy Carmichael. We wonder, “would God do that for me?” We get busy and we say we believe that God provides and that He will take care of us, but in our hearts do we truly understand this? As we worry and stress about life’s cares, it’s easy to forget.
While we may not see it every day, I truly believe that God IS interested in our smallest needs and that HE does provide for them. Over the past year and a half, our family has been privileged to see this, time and time again, in our own lives. The last year has been the hardest year our family has ever had to face. We have been stretched and pulled and asked by God to do things beyond our human strength and power. We have been called out in faith, to step out and do things we never expected or imagined being called to do. Yet, at each step when we are left empty of our human strength and our power is no more, God has come alongside us and clearly allowed us to see His provision at work.
Today was one of those days where His provision left our family in awe of how God takes care of us. Just last night my sister, Katie, who was on a new medication for her chronic illness, had to go to the emergency room because of the side effects it was causing. It was scary, as our whole family waited late into the night to hear word that she would be alright. As Katie lay suffering, mom had to take care of her and use her knowledge and wisdom in the stressful situation to take care of her and get her the care she needed at the hospital.
At home, our younger brothers bravely waited with me, praying that Katie would be alright. Once again, in their young lives, they were having to be strong and show bravery beyond their young years. Something they have grown up having to do, with two older sisters who are chronically ill. Something that breaks my heart as I see the sacrifices they make on our behalf when we are sick. Servants hearts that the Lord has given them as they help care for Katie and me when we can’t take care of ourselves. Doing things that the “older kids” in the family should be doing, but things they take on because we can’t.
Late into the night, the boys finally fell asleep as we all snuggled in bed together waiting. Finally, in the early hours of the morning, we got the news that Katie was stabilized and that she was coming home. Through it all our family was surrounded by the prayers of many friends, crying out to God on our behalf, something that has helped sustain us through each medical crisis we have had to face throughout the years. God had heard and once again what could have been really bad, ended with our family safe once again, under one roof, a little sleep deprived, but thankful everyone was okay.
Having been up late, our family turned off alarms and slept, taking the rest we desperately needed, even though it meant we weren’t going to make it to church. As we all started getting up we gathered in our living room to be together and start our day off peacefully and not in a rush. And that’s where today’s story of provision became all too visible. Something that couldn’t be denied. Stepping out our front door this morning Kyle carried in a box that was left on our doorstep with a note card taped on the top.
As I opened the card all it said was:
Numbers 6:24-26 NIV
The Lord bless you
and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.
Just as I read it, Kyle came back in, this time from the garage, with the news that our freezer was leaking and smelled rotten. All our meat was ruined. The last of the chickens we had labored all summer to grow and all the beef that was the food our family planned to eat for the next coming months, was spoiled.
As he came to tell us this, we opened up the box to find it full of all natural beef and farm fresh eggs. Before we even knew we had a need, God had provided for us. In that moment, God’s provision wasn’t an idea we believed in, or a story that happened to someone far of and long ago, it was something that God was actively doing in our lives. Just after a stressful and scary night, instead of waking up to our freezer that wasn’t frozen, we woke up to an anonymous gift that God used to speak into our family’s life.
It was as if God was sitting there with us on the couch saying, “Don’t worry. I’m taking care of you. You try and store up food and provision for yourselves, but it’s really Me that is taking care of you and I want you to know this, this morning. So don’t worry about your future. Look at that box and remember I’m the One taking care of you, now and forever.”
And so, once again we are reminded of God’s great love for us. He is interested in every part of our lives, even in our small care’s such as a broken freezer. He is there to encourage us when we are brought low and He is walking beside us even on nights where we are scared and don’t know what will happen. Somewhere out there, He used someone else to let us know that He is aware of, and cares about, our every need; even ones we had not yet known ourselves. And that He was going to provide for every one of our needs today and for all the tomorrows to come.