Top 10 and such posts are all the rage right now! Unfortunately, I can’t claim to be immune to those gripping headings that somehow beg “read me!” So now that you have my confession, dear reader, that yes, I succumb to “top 10” online posts, I’ll tell you why I am here confessing one of my less admirable internet habits!
You see the gripping headline “The Definitive Ranking Of Sick Day Clothes” got me! As a girl with POTS (a chronic illness), I wanted to see if “they” really knew what they were talking about by “sick day” clothes. Fortunately for you, they didn’t, and on behalf of all my fellow friends out there who have chronic conditions, I hope to add more clarity to the topic of the sick day wardrobe. So here you have the 8 stages of the sick day wardrobe.
Stage One: The First Half of a Sick Week
You’re on your first couple days of being sick and whatever you’re waking up in is what you’ll wear the rest of the day. At this stage, there’s still hope that in the “next hour” you’ll magically feel like putting on an actual outfit! But for now, this means pajamas. Yes, your good ole’ flannel pants and a cast off t-shirt! Bed head? All the rage.
Stage Two: The Later End of a Sick Week
Let’s face it, no matter how sick you feel, you’ve gone through your best pajamas at this point and would like to feel some accomplishment, even if it’s just putting on something fresh! Bring on those sweat pants! No longer are you waiting around for that burst of energy so you can wear those skinny jeans, but hey, why not do bed in style and look cute for an hour in your sweatpants and coordinating shirt?
Stage Three: Why Did I Get Dressed?
You wake up. Amazingly, you can sit up. You begin your day and do the glorious thing called “getting dressed in the morning.” You’re out to conquer the world, until you find that you’re out of spoons, brain foggy and wondering “why did I get dressed?” The fog thickens and it takes another hour to formulate your second thought, “why am I wearing jeans in bed?” Back to pajamas you go.
Stage Four: Dressing up for Your Doctor
Here’s the deal. By now, even if you don’t feel any better, the thought of REAL clothes is tantalizing. That new shirt you haven’t been able to wear for the past week is calling your name! So you go all out, because hey, even though it’s only a doctor’s appointment, you aren’t going to waste a trip out of the house on pajamas or sweats!
Stage Five: Your One Big Outing of The Month
Again, you go all out. If you’ve learned one thing, dressing up for all those doctors’ appointments, it’s how to look good while while feeling the opposite. All that practice, only to be leftt spoonless, is about to pay off. It’s game time and you use all your tricks from bronzers and blush, so you don’t look like Casper, to the perfect hairdo that masks the fact that you haven’t had energy to shower all week. This is the big leagues, you don’t master this level with a measly cold!
Stage Six: Yes, I am Sick And It’s Called an Invisible Illness
By this point you know that while it may be your big outing, you better seriously dress down to get that doctor to take you seriously! It’s time to rock the bed head, unshowered, Casper look like never before! Ratty pajamas at the bottom of the dirty clothes pile, perfect! You’re best listless look? Wonderful dahling! Shoes? Nah, socks will do the trick, not like your walking much anyways. Makeup? No way, you need all the sympathy a pale complexion can muster. And those strange yellow hues, “why yes doctor, I told you I wasn’t feeling well!”
Stage Seven: The 10 O’clock Diva
As unpractical as it may seem, you feel better once everyone has gone to bed. So here’s your chance, while the rest of the world put’s their pajamas back on, you figure “I feel good, why not?” So even just for that one precious hour you do something normal. You put on something cute and for you, yes, you have just conquered the world. Sadly, no one is awake to see, and you tell yourself that’s why you didn’t make the headlines the next morning when you wake up, I mean afternoon… You were, after all, awake and feeling well all night long!
Stage Eight: You Could Care Less
You’ve been in bed for weeks. By now, you could care less about how you look and you’ve been through all seven, previous stages. Likely, you’re back to your most comfy pajamas. The thought crosses your mind that you’re developing a big knot in your hair, hopefully it will come out, but for now you could care less! Brush your teeth? A nice thought, but then you remember last time, nearly fainting, and how you’d like to keep your relationship with the floor and your toothbrush separate. Shaved legs? A distant memory from the past! Who said you couldn’t wear pajamas all day, everyday, anyways?
So there you have it friends: the truth about the not so glamorous side of the chronically ill wardrobe and the clothing cycle we go through. What stage do you find yourself in? Personally, right now I’m in between stage one and two, still in my pajama shirt, yet upgraded to sweat pants! Feel free to add your own “Sick Day Clothing” stages in the comment section!